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[19 Jan 2006|04:48pm] |
Eh, Welcome back LJ. I guess I'd been neglecting you.
Another relationship down the drain. It's my fault, I knew it was coming sooner or later, I just didn't think the reason was going to be because I'm so against drinking. I just don't understand some things. I don't understand why I've lost half of my family and friends due to alcoholism and all that follows around it. It just.... bothers me. Sigh...
If my anonymous spy team is still out there stalking me, don't bother trying to contact me because after I'm done this, I'm gone. For good. Nothing is worth living over anymore.
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[09 Sep 2005|09:24pm] |
I want this, please get me it. I'll do anything.
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[30 Jul 2005|10:13pm] |
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mood |
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 grumpy |
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I hate every female alive. Yep.
Nothing happened and this is nothing new, I just felt like updating and I don't like girls and I never particularly have ok?
Bitch, I'll cut you.
=/
I'm cranky, help.
And now, it is time for me to do the Halle Berry.
Peace.
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[30 Jul 2005|12:01am] |
Seeing as God is not observable, he must be outside Space/Time
IF God IS OUTSIDE Space/Time
AND Space/Time = Universe
AND Universe = All that exists
Then it logically follows that
Everything outside Space/Time does not exist
And so, taking the first assumption and applying it to our reasoning;
God does not exist??
In other news I'm still alive, but most the people who read this I see every day...lurkers.
I spent all my money on drugs, and couldn't afford to fly, I took a greyhound bus.. you and your kid sat next to me. It wouldn't shut up, so I lit it on fire. For 30 seconds it was louder, then it shut up.
She yelled at me, so I roasted some marshmellows on the kid.
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[24 Jul 2005|11:50pm] |
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Nah, I don't feel like updating.
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[07 May 2005|09:15pm] |
This isn't intended to offend anyone. But I think it is a very accurate portrayal.
Girls are hypocrites that screw over guys all the time. I say this with complete confidence and certainty. I have had experiences and know of others that have had similar experiences, and let me tell you… it is complete bullshit. Read on.
First off, let’s go over what most girls think the ideal guy is. The ideal guy is an intelligent, caring and easy to talk to person, who has a good sense of humor and respect for his family. He is good looking, but not necessarily gorgeous, and an honest guy with goals in his life. He is not an excessive smoker or drinker, and never, ever is arrogant or stuck on himself. He is a pleasure to be around. Wow. That sounds perfect. There is no way there is a guy out there that is all of these things, it would be a dream come true. But the fact is, there are so many guys out there that are exactly like this, and even better. They go beyond this list and further hoist themselves up on the “Ideal Guy” hierarchy ladder. But these are the guys that are the most shit upon by girls. How much sense does that make?
Girls are hypocrites. They say that their ideal man, and the one they are currently hoping for, should be very much like what was described in the previous paragraph. What is more, they all probably know at least 3 or more guys that are exactly like that. But instead of noticing and entering into a relationship with them, they totally shun these poor guys. Ok, so maybe I should not say totally shun; it’s more like damn them to an eternal life of “Best Friend” or “Best Listener.” While these guys would like nothing more than to be boyfriend/girlfriend with these girls, the girls want nothing of that sort. Because they have been labeled as “friends,” those damn girls don’t even consider these guys as boyfriend material, thus their search goes on. They don’t realize that the best guy they could ever hope for is so damn close to them. They are ignorant. They get the assholes instead.
Why do girls like assholes? Here is what I think. These guys are temporary boyfriends until the girls can find that perfect man. But once they get involved with these assholes, the girl must put in so much work that the search is put off…indefinitely. They pour all that they have into their current relationship. Why do they do this? I believe I have the answer. They are embarrassed. These meat headed guys embarrass these girls so much that all they try to do is change the guy, but she forgets about their asshole ways and arrogance. YOU CANNOT CHANGE A GUY. Don’t even try. No matter how sweet or persuasive you THINK you are, it will not work. A temporary behavior change may be noted, but a guy is a guy and will not change permanently. Deep down, the only thing you are doing is pissing him off. These assholes think that they are perfect already. You trying to teach them how to be the perfect guy only goes against everything he already “knows” is right, so he pushes you away. When he pushes you away, what do you do? You cry to that “Best Friend” of yours. Then you are extra nice to your boyfriend until he allows you to get closer again, and then you start the process over.
I don’t know how many times I have been cried to by a girl about her asshole boyfriend, and the next day everything is right again and she is happy as can be. YOU AREN'T HAPPY. It is a front that you put up and everyone can see through it. Do you honestly expect for it to get better? It won’t. The cycle will repeat: he will get mad; you will cry; you will try to make up for it; he will let you back; you think you are happy…it doesn’t end. It should end…end with you dumping his sorry ass and moving on to someone you actually can be happy with. But you are too stubborn and confident in your abilities of persuasion to do anything even remotely correct.
Meanwhile, the perfect guy (ok maybe not perfect, but a hell of a lot closer than that ass you already have) sits around wondering what he can do to change. But remember what I said before. You can’t change a guy. This goes for guys, too. You can’t change yourself. You will always be the person you are, and you shouldn’t want to change that. But it is tough when time after time girls pass on you because “You are too good of a friend and I wouldn’t want to jeopardize that.” Bullshit. Nice excuse. Why don’t you just say “Sorry, you are actually a nice guy. I am looking for an arrogant asshole that will abuse me emotionally.” That’s what you really want, isn't it? Look around and tell me it isn't true. Look at your friends and tell me they are dating the best guy ever. You cannot do that save for maybe one or two couples. Those are the girls that have matured already and realized what they had been missing. They are just lucky that the guy stuck around with her. I admit, there are exceptions to this theory. But me personally, I only know maybe 4 or 5 girls who do not fit this mold. They are genuinely happy with their relationship and everyone knows it. They aren’t putting up a front. They aren’t hypocritical. They aren’t ignorant. But I can guarantee that you cannot find many more than that that are that genuine. At least not now. At least not until they realize how bad they have been and come to their senses. But by then, will it be too late?
Girls shape up and look around you. Look at the truly amazing guys around you that would make your lives better just for being with them. Stop hurting those guys. You are hurting yourself, too. Think about it.
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[05 May 2005|12:27pm] |
Update.
Hi.
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[24 Apr 2005|10:56pm] |
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Today, I raped my tongue. I decided to mix Pepsi with coffee. Sheer boredom and stupidity combined to create one of the most awful mixtures in the history of man (well, this man anyhow).The coffee was taunting me. Mix us together! He beckoned. We're both caffeine based, it will be goooooood.... Hmm, well how can I resist that? I poured my Pepsi into my coffee cup, swirled it around, then took a good, hard, swig. Christ on a bicycle, I think I saw straight down to the depths of hell where a lawyer was laughing at me for being such an idiot..The only word I can use to describe this taste was 'Brown.' If brown had a taste, that would be it.
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[22 Apr 2005|05:43pm] |
I don't like El Segundo kids.
I love my trampoline.
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[17 Apr 2005|11:54pm] |
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It'd be great if the anonymous spy squad 101 could stop commenting on my personal life. I don't want to have to disable all anonymous posting because of my actual friends that do comment. Thanks...
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[17 Apr 2005|08:35pm] |
Nothing much happened today except I ate a lot of dill pickels.
I looked like I was doing some grand theft auto today at the gas station cause I couldn't get my door to open properly. The door jams sometimes.... a lot. OK? People were asking me what I was doing and it was just embarassing.
My brother is partying like a motherfucker since he's not working this week. I hate having parties at my house every night. I am putting a lockdown on my fucking food. All these stoners walking in my house is just pissing me off. I need to eat too, you know?
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[17 Apr 2005|01:08am] |
Fucked up... last night I took a few various meds to take to help me fall asleep and ease the 103 fever. I think they mixed funny because I could've sworn I was seeing shit. My room is pitched black, but somehow I was seeing beams of light. They were twirling around like a helicopter blade. Everywhere I looked they were there. On the wall, on the floor, on the ceiling, on my bed, everywhere. My bedsheets looked crazy too, I can't describe it. I felt these weird urges too. It was like I felt bad because I didn't have a hammer in my hand. The meds must have been weird because I felt like I really needed a goddamn hammer! It was like I felt like my arm was just sitting there and if I swung it that it wouldn't feel right. But if I had a hammer in my hand the weight would feel right. I can't believe I was sitting there craving a fucking hammer! Eventually I fell asleep though.
Now, I just have this buzzer shit going off in my ear that apparently only I am hearing. Arrr.
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[14 Apr 2005|09:12am] |
Sometimes I'd be better off DEAD.
We all need to open our eyes and our minds.
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[10 Apr 2005|01:47pm] |
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mood |
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 restless |
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music |
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The Bravery - Honest Mistake |
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I hate bitches!
I'm a lot more angry and short-tempered than I used to be. Now, everything gets me so ticked off. I just can't seem to relax.
Venting out at people and punching car windows does not help either.
I'm paranoid of everyone close to me dying. Too many deaths to rack up now.
So, I have no friends to hang out with anymore.
I think I just need someone to talk to. It may help getting some things out.
I haven't slept for 8 days straight. Definatly something wrong.
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[07 Apr 2005|06:38pm] |
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mood |
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gloomy |
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I have been loosing my connection with reality and been slipping in and out of my mind. I feel this rush as if reality in itself is a fantasy world. The switchover to reality is confusing for a moment. If you are away from reality for a long enough time, maybe it is another world. And of course what comes with my insanity is a bit of paranoia.
I just feel so frustrated and angry lately. I apologize to everyone I may have chewed out these past weeks. It's been hell. You know when you get frustrated and you feel like there is a lack of oxygen in your lungs, your throat feels like a deflated balloon? That's bad enough but when you get caught up in your own hatred and disgust for everything and then have to live with that feeling in your throat...sucks.
There is no real vents for my foolish anger. I just have to bite my fucking lip and go with it.
I feel like such a fucking zombie doing the same routine over and over again.
The light at the end of the tunnel is near.
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[01 Apr 2005|10:45pm] |
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Sin City=HOLY SHIT<3<3!!!1!1!oneoneone
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[31 Mar 2005|01:24pm] |
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music |
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Deftones - Knife Party |
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I keep all my pyro equipment right beside my desk so I can play with my lighters and shit while sitting at my computer (woo look at that run on sentence!) but I guess I lit my desk on fire then burnt my hand trying to put it out with my hand.
That's my story of which I don't think I could have typed it anymore awkwardly. As far as life goes... nothing comes to mind.
I'll probably update again in a year or so.
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[21 Mar 2005|10:25pm] |
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mood |
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 high |
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I miss my childhood.
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[20 Mar 2005|12:21am] |
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mood |
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The Microphones - The Moon |
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St. Patrick's day is way lame.
I don't drink.
I don't smoke.
I don't whore around.
You can if you want.
Yeah. I'm done my rambling, I knew you'd be checking this, that's why its strategically vague.
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